All Posts Tagged With: "depression"
The Attacks of the Black Brain
The attacks of the black brain start with losing something. Usually it is my keys or my wallet, but it could be anything misplaced or forgotten: a passport, a phone, a book or just a place I can’t find. I feel stupid and frustrated. I will tear up my household looking for the lost items, […]
25May2010 | carlton | 0 comments | Continued
Suicide, The Long Term Solution to a Short Term Problem
I tried suicide once. I have thought about suicide a lot. I came close to suicide a second time. Suicide ideation has followed me for forty five years. When ever I get down the thought of doing myself in comes up. Self-murder has always seemed the optimal solution to unhappy circumstances. “Why not just do […]
16Apr2010 | carlton | 1 comment | Continued
I think I am better than I am
Grandiosity is a symptom of Bipolar Disorder. When manic I get very grandiose. I think I am better than I am. I liken myself to the great Leonardo Da Vinci. He like me was a writer, artist, and architect; and some say he was bipolar also. Maybe that is why he was so slow in […]
1Apr2010 | carlton | 3 comments | Continued
The Attack of the Inanimate Objects
Inanimate objects attack me. Doors, tables, chairs, toilet seats, vacuum cleaners, keys, wallets, tools, cars, and computers – to name just a few of my enemies – have it out for me. They sneak up on me. They lurk in the shadows to obstruct my way. They refuse to cooperate. The small objects lose themselves […]
8Mar2010 | carlton | 10 comments | Continued
Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson , who supposedly wrote this novella under the influence of cocaine, strikes me as a perfect metaphor for the states I became under the influence of my magic potion, crack cocaine; except that my Hyde was not male, but female. […]
2Feb2010 | carlton | 6 comments | Continued
The Two-minded Self
The Two-Minded Self This is an old article I wrote, which I have been thinking about lately. “For that person must not suppose that a double minded man unstable in all his ways will receive anything from the lord.” I came upon this passage in the Letter of James in the Bible […]
6Jan2010 | carlton | 6 comments | Continued
The Healing Power of Buddhism
Dancer of innate compassion within the spacious expanse of nature You manifest as one who holds awareness of profound meanings Endowed with a vast range of flawless and holy qualities Glorious lama may your lotus feet stand firmly. Longevity Prayer – Namkha Drimed Rinpoche Several months ago I attended […]
12Feb2009 | carlton | 15 comments | Continued
